Tonight on Showtime the uniquely twisted and highly entertaining show Shameless returns with an all new Sunday January 25, season 5 episode 3 called “The Two Lisas” and we have your weekly recap below. On tonight’s episode, Frank [William H. Macy] enlists Carl [Ethan Cutkosky] to scare off the lesbians. Debbie throws a wild party.
On the last season Frank tried to talk Sheila out of an offer; Lip had his first day of work; Kev and Svetlana bond. Did you watch last week’s episode? If you missed it, we have a full and detailed recap right here for you.
On tonight’s episode as per the Showtime synopsis, “Frank asks Carl to discourage lesbians from buying property; Ian goes on a cleaning spree.”
Tonight’s Shameless season 5 episode 3 is going to be great, and you won’t want to miss it. So be sure to tune in for our live coverage of Shameless — tonight at 9 PM EST! While you wait for our recap, hit the comments and let us know how excited you are about the new season of the Shameless?
Tonight’s episode begins now – Refresh Page often to get the most current updates!
Mickey is upset that there’s another raid at the whorehouse and V complains that Kevin better not let the babies drink his wife’s AIDS whore milk then says – no offense. Mickey says none taken. Frank comes in with bottles of beer and V says no BYOB but Frank explains that he made it and it’s 10 times stronger than regular beer. V tastes and says it’s potent. She asks him to buy some. He says it’s high end and she can charge premium prices. One guy tries a sip and passes it and V says to drag him to the sober chair. A guy says he wants six cases for a VA conference. Frank is shocked.
Fiona serves up food at the diner and hears that Sean is off to be with his kid. Her fellow waitress tells her that her big tipper is there and wants to know if she’s dating anyone. She asks Fiona for a dinner date and Fiona says she’s not on the market and the woman says she won’t stop asking and says she’s quite persuasive. She hands over the tip without ordering and leaves. She tells Fiona she’ll see her tomorrow. Carl rolls down the street in his wheelchair.
D’s stuff is getting tossed out because the bank is foreclosing on them. He has hickies from Holly and Ellie. He’s walking fine but is still faking. He says they make him give him oral to let him hang around. He says he may get laid at the pool today. She says she’s going to throw her own party since no one’s inviting her to theirs and will get some of Frank’s beer. Mickey finds his stuff outside and asks what Ian is doing. He says the house is filthy.
He curses at Mickey in Russian and says the rub and tug got closed for good. Ian asks why he’s not bailing them out and what they’re going to do for good. Kenyatta and Mandy come in arguing about moving to Indiana – she doesn’t want to go. She says the house looks clean and Mickey says Mary Poppins has been cleaning. Ian tells her not to go and says Kenyatta will kill her. Mickey says they can kill him and bury him in pieces by the river but Ian says he can stop her.
Frank complains that his still is too slow. Sheila tells Frank about some other places she wants to go see including a robot hall of horrors. One is a theme park devoted to jam. He says he’s busy because he got his first order. Frank says she can’t sell to the lesbians. She says she wants to see the world but he says the world is a piece of shit. She says she can go without him. Debbie shows up calling for her dad. She says she needs beer for her party and Sheila hands her a whole box of Frank’s beer and says to drink responsibly.
Davis shows up to see Fiona at the diner. He asks what she’s doing. She’s making a list of things she messes up for her NA meetings. He hands her a flyer for a jazz show at 9 pm. She smiles. Debbie hands out flyers for her party. Linda has the baby over to play with the twins. Kevin asks how much milk she pumped and complains that it wasn’t enough. She tells him the rub and tug got shut down for good. She asks her mom how many moms are still feeding titty milk.
She says they should start a milking sweatshop in the upstairs of the bar and sell it to rich white folks. Frank finds Carl and tells him to run the lesbians out of their neighborhood. He asks why he can’t do it himself and he says he has to run a brewery. He tells him to show him what living in the hood is really like. Carl rolls out. Debbie runs into Matty and invites him to her party. She hands him a flyer and he compliments her hair and says he can bring friends. He says he’ll come.
Frank lurks at the scrapyard and tries to steal a barrel. The guy wants $300. He offers a six pack but the guy wants a woman. He says he just wants to get laid. He says he knows a good looking girl who can suck the chrome off a trailer hitch. The guy asks who and he says his daughter. Carl spots the lesbians looking at houses. Fiona calls them down for dinner and Carl says he needs help terrorizing the lesbians. Fiona says it could improve the neighborhood.
Lip says he’ll help. Debbie says she’s having a party tonight and asks where the Christmas lights are. Fiona says she won’t be there and Debbie says she doesn’t need a chaperone. Fiona says she trusts her and says to be smart. Sammi tells Chuckie to go to bed when Frank shows up. He brings her some of his homemade beer and asks about her day. She yells at Chuckie and says she has no one to talk to. He hugs her and says she needs a good man.
He tells her he has a friend she might like. He tells her he’s different. She says she needs a penis break. He says this guy could be the one and knows how to treat a lady. He says his life died and says he owns his own business and everything. She agrees. Lip is digging up a no parking sign when Ian tells him that Mandy is moving to Indian with Kenyatta because she has no self-esteem. He asks him to talk to her and Lip agrees.
Debbie greets her guests and tells them to pace themselves because the beer is strong. Fiona greets Davis at the jazz thing and is surprised when Gigi, Davis’ live in GF comes up and kisses him. Davis says Fiona is Gus’ friend. Fiona laughs and steps closer and kisses Gus. After Gigi walks off Davis says that was fair play. Sheila offers the lesbian house buyer some tea but she just wants to look upstairs. Frank comes in with the metal part he needed and tells her she can’t sell the house.
He asks about the box of beer. She tells him she can sell the house if she wants. She says she gave it to Debbie for her party. He says it was his only batch. The lesbian comes down and asks if she’ll let her know if she knows of anyone on disability or headed for jail. Sheila shows him a check for earnest money. She says it’s happening. Frank says he’s still too weak and says he has to stay close to his doctors and family. He says Sammi and Chuckie need him and the other kids too.
He says a home is a home damn it and he died upstairs and was reborn in this house. He says she can’t take it from him. He says this neighborhood is the only thing he’s ever had and the only thing that has meant anything to him. She says what about her and he says she’s his dawn and dusk. She walks off. He says she’s the sun and moon. She keeps walking and he says f- me. Lip comes to talk to Many and asks if her big black BF is around. She offers him a beer. Davis makes out with his GF on the dance floor as Fiona watches.
Debbie stumbles into the house and finds broken glass and people complaining. The girl says the only decent thing is her brother – the girls are calling him Carl-lingis. He’s under the stairs going down on girl after girl. Lip and Mandy are in her room kissing and undressing. He tells her she’s gorgeous and sweet and funny. He says she’s very smart and asks if she knows it. She tells him to shut up. He says she’s a good person and she thanks him. She kisses him and then she asks him to wait.
She asks what this is and he says they’re two people who are very good at sex. She asks about his GF and he says she’s in Florida. She asks if he’s going to visit and he says who knows. He’s inside her and they’re moaning. She tells him she loves him. He stops and stares then starts up again. People are making out all over the Gallagher house and Matty says he needs to lie down. She takes him upstairs to her room but finds her door locked.
The door opens and two people leave it pulling their clothes back on. She pushes Matty onto her bed. She sees condoms on her nightstand the other kids left. Chuckie looks at Frank and he asks shouldn’t he be in bed. Lip goes to leave and tells Mandy she doesn’t need Kenyatta. He asks if he can come by tomorrow and take her to breakfast. She says okay. Later, one of the condom packets is open – looks like Debbie may have date raped a drunk Matty.
Gus tells Fiona that Davis does this with women all the time. She apologizes for kissing him like that and he says he didn’t mind and it was nice. He asks if she wants to get coffee but she says she needs to get home. He says he feels used. She asks if they can do it tomorrow. They pick a place and time. Next morning, Debbie wakes and gets up. Matty wakes and realizes his pants are off and sees the condom packet. Ian tells Lip that Mandy left an hour ago. Lip tells him he tried and Ian says he’s sure he did.
The lesbians car is towed because they dug it up and moved it to in front of their house. Fiona goes to meet Gus for coffee but the coffee shop is closed. He offers to fix her coffee at his place. Lisa the lesbian comes to knock on Carl’s door and asks about the no parking signs. She says they don’t scare easily. Carl is covered in hickies. Debbie sees that Matty is gone. He left a sticky note to text him and that they need to talk.
Debbie comes out om the front porch drinking OJ sloppily and screams – I am a woman. Gus and Fiona eat gumbo and he talks about he and his parents being musicians. He plays all these strange instruments. She says jazz isn’t really her thing. He asks what music she likes and she says nothing. She says she no time for music. He says that’s tragic and he would die without music. She tells him to play her something worth dying over.
He picks up a guitar and plays a song that sounds like it’s about mental illness. It’s really sad. Fiona takes the guitar and sits in his lap and kisses him. She says holy shit and kisses him some more. She meets with the scrap yard owner for an early bird dinner. Lip is at work at the construction site. He asks if they get paid for the holiday on the fourth. He says he thinks he hurt his back and is told that he’ll lose his job if he’s hurt. Debbie goes to see Matty.
He asks if they had sex and she says it was wonderful. She asks if he forgot and he says he was drunk. He says an erection is not consent and asks her if he said he wanted to. He says he was barely conscious and says she date-raped him and statutorily raped herself. He says he could go to jail. He says friends don’t rape friends. She says she’s sorry. He tells her not to call him and walks away. V has the milk farm going and has to yell at one of the moms for doing IV drugs while she’s pumping.
Kevin comes and yells at her for not nursing her own kids. He snaps at her and says she missed The Wiggles. He storms out. Debbie comes in and says Matty accused her of raping him. She says he was drunk but his thing wasn’t. She says she thought he would like it. Lip says this guy is weird and she’s better off without him. He says a million guys would like to be raped by her. She tells him to shut up and runs upstairs.
Sheila pulls up with an RV and tells Frank she’s test driving their new home. Frank asks if she bought it and she says not yet. Frank says he was unconscious when they got married. He says he wants to renew their vows and wants to do it right. He says his heart is literally bursting and didn’t feel this with Monica or with Sammi’s mom. He says she cares so much and can’t leave here. He asks her not to squash his dreams of building a future. She asks about her dreams.
He says they can always take vacations and come backs to their little nest. He tells her he loves her. He kisses her. She hugs him. Debbie sits outside smoking when Fiona comes out. Debbie says she’s just holding it and doesn’t like it very much. She asks Debbie if she wants to talk. She says she wants to tell her something but doesn’t want to be told how to feel. Debbie says she had sex last night for her first time. Fiona asks if she was careful. Debbie nods.
Fiona holds her hand and doesn’t say anything. Chuckie sleeps while Sammi has a sip of her dad’s beer and chats with her date. He moves closer to her and kisses her. He undoes his belt and she says she likes him and says she doesn’t meet many gentleman and wants to take things slow. He asks if they can wait til after he finishes his water. He says Frank promises she would bone him as soon as they got back to her trailer.
Sheila comes down and says she decided to keep the house and turn down the RV. He goes to hug her but he’s all sweaty. Sammi comes there angry and says he promised that he would put out to get brewery equipment. She attacks her dad and the guy samples some of Frank’s beer. Sammi chases him out in the yard and Sheila knocks her off him. Sammi says she hopes he dies in a funnel of diarrhea. He calls Sheila a pervert and calls Sammi a slut with hygiene problems.
He tells Sheila she takes pleasure in shoving penises up the butts of men she loves. He rattles off all their deplorable habits in detail including Sheila’s needlessly complicated cooking and Sammi’s horrible son. Then the house explodes. Sammi wonders where her date Hanzi is. Then his leg lands beside them and they have their answer. Then she calls out for Chuckie (nice that she didn’t think of him first) but he’s safe.
Turns out Frank was using propane improperly for the still. Just then the RV salesman pulls up in the RV. Sheila walks away from Frank in disgust and hops into the driver’s seat. We see her driving away with a smile on her face and later driving out of Chicago entirely. The two Lisa lesbians high five that they won’t even have to pay to have Sheila’s house demolished before they rebuild.
THE END!
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